Testing Jitters: Four Ways to Help Them Overcome Anxiety

     Test stress happens to just about everyone, and severe anxiety can sometimes strike even the most prepared students. But for some kids, every single test is a nightmare. Their palms sweat, their hearts race, and their minds go into overdrive with negative thoughts about failure – and that can be before they even get a foot in the classroom door on test day.

     Almost 20 percent of today’s students experience test anxiety, according to the American Test Anxiety Association. They don’t just worry they might not ace the test – they actually “freeze” while taking it. High test anxiety reduces working memory, confuses reasoning, increases mistakes, and lowers test scores. Research suggests students with high test anxiety perform around 12 percentile points below their peers who are not anxious test-takers.

1. Have a Studying Strategy.
Being prepared can make a world of difference in a  student’s self-confidence. Take a good look at how,  where and when your child studies. Is it too late  in the day? Are there distractions around? Is your  child trying to learn while hungry or overtired?  Does your child procrastinate learning new  material? Do your best to address each need and  set your child up for success. That means a healthy  snack, a quiet study corner, a good night’s  sleep – and no electronics (including a cell phone  or TV!) nearby.

2. Have a Test-taking Strategy.
You can’t be there to help your child through the  test, but you can tell him how to take one. When the test is set in front of him, tell him to flip through it to gauge how many questions there are and what’s involved. Then have him answer every question he knows right away, skipping anything he’s not sure about, then backtrack carefully to answer the questions he skipped. Tell him not to fret about the clock, but try to save a few minutes to go back through and check his answers. Finally, encourage him to raise his hand and ask a question if he needs something clarified.

3. Practice Positive Thinking.
Negative, self-defeating thoughts can sap your child’s mental strength, mucking up her ability to do well even if she knows all the answers. Challenge negative ideas (“I never do well on tests.”) and reframe them in a positive, honest way (“You studied hard for last week’s spelling test and passed with flying colors!”) so your child begins to see there are no absolutes.

4. Hold Your Tongue.
The morning of the test is not the time to suggest your child should have studied more or started preparing earlier. It’s not the time to nag about how late your teen stayed up or pick a fight about what your teen chose for breakfast. Try to remain calm and positive without smothering or shoving encouragement down your child’s throat. Your anxious test taker needs all the good vibes he or she can get.

What "I'm bored in school" might really mean for your teen

Teenagers are notorious for calling things "boring." Everything from a TV show to a particular shirt can be given such a blanket stamp of disapproval. But when they label school "boring," it's time to investigate what they really mean.

"The first step is to talk with your child, get their take on what's going on at school," says Dr. Lucy Jo Palladino, a California-based clinical psychologist and author of Dreamers, Discoverers & Dynamos: How to Help the Child Who Is Bright, Bored, and Having Problems in School . "More often than not you'll get 'I don't know,' but sometimes it's the best place to begin — at the source." Most formal learning disabilities and attention problems are diagnosed by about the fourth grade, so a teen who claims to be bored probably has something else going on besides a diagnosable problem. That doesn't mean you can't get to the bottom of it, though. Palladino offers parents a few common translations for the "I'm bored" mantra — and how to go about fixing them.

1. "I'm not being challenged enough." 
   What's happening: If a child is gifted, sheer class size might be working against him, as the teacher focuses on the average student while the gifted child quickly masters the material and is left twiddling his thumbs.
   
   What to do: If your child is bright and needs more of a challenge, you have to address that with the teacher. Also dig deeper to find out what excites your teen — Is it writing? Science? Engineering? — and get him involved in extracurricular activities that address those interests.



2. "There's not enough swiping and clicking."
   What's happening: "In today's world, teens are so hyper-stimulated by technology outside the classroom that inside the classroom, by contrast, their brains are under-stimulated," says Palladino, whose latest book, Find Your Focus Zone, is on finding success in today's digital age of distraction. When today's tech-driven teens sit at a desk to exercise quiet, convergent thinking, their brains just aren't conditioned for it.
   
   What to do: Be intentional with the rules and habits regarding technology at home, Palladino says. Look at the lifestyle choices you're making, and aim for more balance. Is your family watching too much TV? Is your child playing a lot of video games? Take stock of how important you've made the gadgets in your own life, and set the example you want your kids to follow. That might mean not bringing the phone to the dinner table, or to bed, and letting them see you reading a book rather than playing Words With Friends.



3. "I'm totally lost." 
   What's happening: We turn off when we don't understand something. "This is especially true in something like math," Palladino says. "If your child has missed an essential step early on, they might be turning off for the rest of the lesson because it doesn't have meaning for them. And that lack of listening is a Catch-22, because you miss something else, and then you're even less interested."
   
   What to do: Let them know you believe in them and are here to help. "The art of conversing with your teen is to mutualize the experience, to reflect back to the child in a non-judgmental way. Use open-ended questions that are more in the spirit of exploring what's going on than accusatory, like 'How come you're not paying attention?'" You'll also want to talk to the teacher, and explore options for getting extra help, she says, "but just from those conversations, your student might try a little harder if he knows you're rooting for him."



4. "I'm spent."
   What's happening: Sometimes boredom is more an expression of tiredness, and these days teens are not sleeping as well as they should, Palladino says. We have overscheduled them to the point where their only free time is late at night, after sports, dance classes, dinner and homework are done, and they don't want to give that up to sleep. In addition, more teens are heading to bed with their phones by their sides, texting and surfing throughout the night. Exhaustion leads to an inability to concentrate, so they mentally check out during class.
   
   What to do: Have teens turn in their cell phones and other gadgets at bedtime. Ease back on daytime and evening activities, to give your teen more down time. And make sure physical activity is part of the regular family routine — everyone sleeps better when they exercise.



5. "Who can study at a time like this?!" 
   What's happening: Something outside the classroom is stealing your teen's focus. "Keep in mind that a teen's No. 1 priority is to not be embarrassed," Palladino says. Teen girls are especially vulnerable to becoming preoccupied with what's going on between classes. And drama that used to be contained to the school hallways or Friday night party is now carried on 24/7 via social media, which can do some serious psychological damage.
   
   What to do: Tread lightly, but let them know you're there. "Give them the sense of being an ally," Palladino says. "You want to be establishing a strong alliance with your teenager, because that's all you've got — that bond of trust — as they get older and more independent."

ACADEMIC ANTI-RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013

Sylvan Learning offers simple suggestions for better academic results in 2013

New Year’s academic resolutions are pretty much off the list of most students. We adults don’t set a better example either. Since the beginning of time, we have been making and breaking New Year’s resolutions. Our well-intended resolutions often don’t work because changing deeply ingrained habits is never easy, even for the most determined among us.

So if you want to secure a successful change in your student this year, particularly with regards to academic performance, try a new tactic:  The Anti-Resolution.

By saying no, students can create some new, positive academic habits.  Allow your student to brainstorm a few things he or she will NOT do, in the pursuit of higher grades and a more positive school experience. 

Here are 10 anti-resolution suggestions from Sylvan Learning to get your student paving a path toward better academic results in 2013:

1. I will NOT start studying the night before a test. Procrastination is one of the biggest grade-killers. Children who get into the habit of studying earlier – or tackling a school project well ahead of its due date -- will get the higher scores they were capable of achieving all along.

2.  I will NOT tune out in math class. For many students, all-important math and algebra classes are the biggest challenge. Simply paying attention can pay dividends.

3.  I will NOT be afraid to raise my hand in class. This is a big one. Asking questions is a key part of learning. A teacher’s answer to a single question may clarify a student’s understanding of an entire lesson.

4.  I will NOT play video games before I do my homework. Today’s children have an almost limitless variety of electronic diversions that can lure them away from schoolwork. Students need to get into the habit of making sure that schoolwork takes precedence.

5.  I will NOT miss out on reading for 20 minutes every day. Children cannot improve reading skills or develop a love of reading if they don’t do it regularly.  Twenty minutes per day is the bare minimum.

6.  I will NOT participate in social media during every spare minute. As useful and entertaining as Facebook and Twitter can be, they also can be constant sources of interruption during academic tasks, both in and out of class.

7.  I will NOT talk in class when I should be listening. Teachers often hear students offer the excuse, “I guess I didn’t hear it.” Students need to realize that the teacher’s job is to instruct; the student’s job is to pay attention.

8. I will NOT forget to write down my assignments.  A student can’t do homework he or she doesn’t know about. Frantic last-minute calls to classmates for homework assignments waste time and demonstrate a lack of discipline.

9.  I will NOT sit in the back of class.  Sitting closer to the front of the class encourages participation and shows the teacher you’re interested.

10.  I will NOT forget how important school is to my future. The daily routine of school may blunt a student’s perception of just how important academics are in the grand scheme of things. Children should remain aware that how well they do in school really matters.

There you have it – 10 things for students not to do in 2013.

For additional information and educational resources, visit us on the web at www.sylvanlearning.com or call us at (908) 806-4010.

Helping your Kids Prepare for Tests and School Success

More than three million college admissions tests are administered each year, making the SAT and the ACT two of the most important exams that a high school student will ever take. In order to perform at their best, students should become familiar with the style and types of questions on the tests. In addition, students should boost their reading and vocabulary skills and learn specific process of elimination strategies. Above all, students need to work through as many practice questions
and tests as possible in the weeks and months leading up to the actual exam.

It is essential for high schoolers to willingly choose to make “studying and test taking” major academic goals this year. Here are some simple tips for parents of middle and high school students to help their kids study for tests in school and to achieve success.

• Adolescents and teens look to adults for guidance, even though they’re often reluctant to admit it. So, let them know you’re monitoring their progress, that you’re aware of due dates for major reports and projects, and that you know when report cards are coming out. Be omniscient – or at least let them believe you are.

• Keep track of their homework, their reading assignments, and their preparation for tests. For most kids, you don’t need to look at every page of every assignment, but you do want them to know you’ll be checking in with them every evening at a specific time. This sets deadlines and a routine.

• Set goals for the short term and long term. Keep the pressure low but steady. Determine what rewards would be fair and reasonable.

• Insist, especially on days before major tests, performances, or projects, that your teenager gets plenty of restful sleep. Also, insist that he eats a good breakfast and avoids foods that could lead to grogginess just before a test.

• Regular conversations about school and school activities let students know not only that you’re interested in their daily lives but that you’re up-to-date on projects, tests, and report cards. This avoids anguished comments from you like, “Report cards are tomorrow? Why didn’t you tell me?”

• You went over all the assignments before your children turned them in. Now, go over tests, book reports, projects, and the like after they’ve been graded. Review any mistakes they made, areas where they could have been stronger, and all the red-ink comments the teacher made. Talk about how they can improve next time. We all make mistakes, but only the wisest of us learn from them.

• It’s difficult sometimes, but keep your spirits up. Kids pick up on our moods and emotions, so stay encouraging and supportive. Share stories of times in your life when you’ve made mistakes or errors of judgment and what you’ve learned from those times. Teens want independence, they want to take control of their lives, but they surely need our guidance, perhaps at this time of life more than ever. Be there for them, show them the way, lead them, and give them increasing amounts of independence along the way when they show they’re ready for it. They’ll rise to our expectations.

Who is your teen really listening to?

Ask parents who has the most influence over the decisions and behaviors of their teens, and most reply: their peers. Yet, research confirms that when teens are asked who has the most influence over their actions, they overwhelmingly reply: our parents.

Despite the eye-rolling and often demonstrated (and totally natural) push for independence, middle and high school teens need their parents. Who better can provide the guidance, direction, care, love and sacrifice to guide them to adulthood?

The benefits of parent involvement are well documented-a demonstrated awareness of and involvement in schoolwork, communication with their educators, an understanding of the developmental emotional and social challenges, and the clear communication to their children of parental expectations and academic aspirations. Yet, a National Middle School Association study confirms that parental involvement too often declines during the crucial middle and high school years.

So how do you find the balance between fostering independence in your child and being the world's best helicopter?

1. Teach and model. You are your child's first teacher and most likely the person your child most admires. Set the example you wish for your child to follow.

2. Provide opportunities for reflections, discussions, and clear communications regarding boundaries, behaviors, and expectations.

3. Foster your child's strengths, talents, and interests. Give praise and support not only for your child's accomplishments but also his or her efforts.


Basically, parents keep talking because when push comes to shove your teens are listening to YOU! They just may be listening to more than what you're saying.