Compliment a Kid Today

I've noticed that kids love to be complimented on what they wear or what they do. Some of them though just don't know how to take it. Here is an article from our guest blogger Dr. Rick.

Teach Kids How to Accept a Compliment
by rbavaria

For the past couple of posts, we’ve been concentrating on teaching kids certain crucial social skills, talents that will serve them well as they learn to make friends, as they’re in school, and as they work as adults.

First we discussed teaching kids how to apologize. Then, how to accept an apology . Followed by how to give a compliment . And today, how to accept a compliment. Seems lots of kids don’t know how to respond when someone says, “Nice job at the concert, Elijah!” or “What a pretty sweater, Bethany.”

A blank stare, mute shoe-gazing, or ignoring nice comments just won’t cut it.

When they learn to compliment they’re learning to recognize the talents of others, to appreciate their friends and classmates, and to think of other people besides themselves. When others give them a compliment, it’s useful and respectful to acknowledge it.

So, in the spirit of arming our kids with the simple know-how of making it through a day with confidence and maybe even a little poise, here are a half dozen or so suggestions that can help.

1. Recognize a compliment. When someone says something nice, it’s good to see it as the little gift it is. And since we’ve already taught them to say thank-you when they receive a gift, it’s perfectly natural to expect the same words now.

2. Start early. Teach kids to say a simple thank-you when they receive the gift of a compliment. For shy kids, just those two words are perfectly acceptable. As they gain more confidence, a few more words will be easier. “Thank you. I worked hard on practicing my clarinet.” Or, “Thank you, my mom gave me this sweater for Christmas. It’s one of my favorites.”

3. Be a role model. Let kids see you graciously acknowledging compliments. This doesn’t have to be a big production, just a natural part of daily living. When they see you doing this with ease and simple words, they’ll get the hang of it.

4. Make eye contact. This is a hard skill for some kids to learn, but it usually gets easier as they get older. Especially if it’s your expectation. Tell them to look someone in the eye when they’re talking to them – it shows respect and interest.

5. Smile. We smile when we get gifts, right? So, smile when someone’s said something nice to us. It shows that we’re grateful and we appreciate the other person’s thoughtfulness. For especially bashful children, at the very least a charming, shy smile will do for the time being. Shy kids want confidence-building skills.

6. Be sincere. You don’t have to fall all over yourself with flowery words, but the words should show sincerity. That’s why a smile and a thank-you are just right. They show you mean it.

7. See the innocence. Some people, let’s admit it, are suspicious of compliments. Some of us can’t help but wonder what that other person has up his sleeve. Why’s he being so nice? Kids are too young to be cynical. Don’t teach them suspicion.

Just like teaching kids how to give compliments, accepting them doesn’t have to be a big deal. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Expressing our admiration to others and saying thank you to those who do it for us are just common, daily courtesies that show our friends and classmates that we care for and respect them. Just regular life skills that smooth the way in a complicated world. It’s that simple.