Creative Ways to Keep Your Family Connected

With spring sports in full swing and recitals and finals on the horizon, families really start to feel the time crunch this time of year. Even as daylight hours continue to grow, family time often seems to shrink. When schedules get this crazy, it’s a trick to just keep track of everyone’s whereabouts and obligations.

So how do you stay connected to the people you live with – not just their calendars? The answer’s simple: Creatively. Here are four secrets to squeezing the best out of limited down time and increasing connections in the smaller moments of your family’s day. Institute ‘No Phone’ Zones. When you only have 20 minutes a day with your teen, not spending that time checking your Facebook  feed seems like a no-brainer. But many of us are so tied to our electronic gadgets we don’t realize how addicted we’ve become. Turn it off, leave it in the car, put it in a drawer -- do whatever you have to do to keep yourself from looking at a screen even once while your child’s in the same room. We promise that email, text or status update will still be viewable after your son has been dropped off at baseball practice or your daughter is in bed.


Think outside the box.
Many families know that, given busy schedules and pressing homework, sitting around the dinner table all together is impossible. So they simply give up the goal of gathering as a unit. But there must be some time of day – whether it’s 7 a.m. or 8:30 p.m. – when the whole family is under one roof. Use that time. Instead of family dinner, have a nighttime family snack. Kids can’t resist the smell of popcorn popping or the lure of apple slices smeared with chocolate  spread or peanut butter. Put out a plate of something simple and appealing and get a check on everyone’s day.


Start ‘Pay It Forward’ at Home. 
To “pay it forward” is to ask the receiver of a bit of kindness to “repay” it to someone else instead of to the original giver. Implementing this little game of goodwill could yield immeasurable gains in your home, and it takes very little time. Design a simple “Pay It Forward!” card and give one to each family member, then let them loose on one another.Think of little ways to lighten a family member’s load or make them smile, and  instead of taking credit for the bit of kindness, simply leave the card. The goal is to never have a card for more than a day – and certainly no more than a single card at one time.

Make Hellos and Goodbyes Count.
In a tightly scheduled family, interaction is often relegated to a series of pickups and drop-offs throughout the day. You can think of this as not enough quality time together, or as an opportunity for more of what are among the best emotional moments between people – the hello and the goodbye. The way we greet one another and the way we leave one another leaves imprints on our hearts, so make the most of the many tries you get. Be intentional and positive. Swallow any inclination you have to nag, yell or ridicule in these moments. Make eye contact when you say “I love you” (and always say “I love you”).

Tech Tips Tuesday

We know parents are caught in a never-ending whirlwind of carpools and homework and parties and practices. Luckily there are a ton of apps and websites out there designed to make your life easier, more organized or just more fun. 

Here are our top two Tech Tips this month:

My Job Chart

What it is: My Job Chart is a chore and allowance tracker that works on a points system, allowing children to earn points for chores done and then allocate those points toward their spending, saving and sharing goals. Parents can choose from a big list of chores or make up their own, and the kids log into their accounts to see their daily chores and check them off as they go.

Why it’s cool: The site links directly to Amazon.com, where kids can find things they’d like to spend their money on and add them to wish lists that automatically keep track of how many points they’ve earned toward the purchase. Once they have enough points, an alert is sent to Mom or Dad, who can then purchase the item and have it shipped directly to the house. If this seems too consumer-driven, the site also links to several charities (again you can add others), and points are earned toward donating to those as well.

What’s required: The website is free, with free apps for Apple iPhones, iPads and Android phones and tablets.

Couch to 5K

What it is: The C25K program was designed to get you from never running to completing a 5K in only nine weeks. You can listen to your own music while the helpful voice prompts you to walk, to run, and to congratulate yourself for a job well done. You follow a simple training plan that gradually increases your distance and stamina, and you can measure your progress by either time or distance.

Why it’s cool: It’s free and it’s easy, and your health is worth so much more than that. If you ever wished you had your own personal trainer, someone to tell you what to do to get in shape without killing yourself or your budget, then this app might be your dream come true. It takes the guesswork out of getting in shape, and quiets that self-defeating voice inside your head telling you to slow down, walk, or stop.

What’s required: There are several mobile apps for iPhone and Android, some free, some paid.

Testing Jitters: Four Ways to Help Them Overcome Anxiety

     Test stress happens to just about everyone, and severe anxiety can sometimes strike even the most prepared students. But for some kids, every single test is a nightmare. Their palms sweat, their hearts race, and their minds go into overdrive with negative thoughts about failure – and that can be before they even get a foot in the classroom door on test day.

     Almost 20 percent of today’s students experience test anxiety, according to the American Test Anxiety Association. They don’t just worry they might not ace the test – they actually “freeze” while taking it. High test anxiety reduces working memory, confuses reasoning, increases mistakes, and lowers test scores. Research suggests students with high test anxiety perform around 12 percentile points below their peers who are not anxious test-takers.

1. Have a Studying Strategy.
Being prepared can make a world of difference in a  student’s self-confidence. Take a good look at how,  where and when your child studies. Is it too late  in the day? Are there distractions around? Is your  child trying to learn while hungry or overtired?  Does your child procrastinate learning new  material? Do your best to address each need and  set your child up for success. That means a healthy  snack, a quiet study corner, a good night’s  sleep – and no electronics (including a cell phone  or TV!) nearby.

2. Have a Test-taking Strategy.
You can’t be there to help your child through the  test, but you can tell him how to take one. When the test is set in front of him, tell him to flip through it to gauge how many questions there are and what’s involved. Then have him answer every question he knows right away, skipping anything he’s not sure about, then backtrack carefully to answer the questions he skipped. Tell him not to fret about the clock, but try to save a few minutes to go back through and check his answers. Finally, encourage him to raise his hand and ask a question if he needs something clarified.

3. Practice Positive Thinking.
Negative, self-defeating thoughts can sap your child’s mental strength, mucking up her ability to do well even if she knows all the answers. Challenge negative ideas (“I never do well on tests.”) and reframe them in a positive, honest way (“You studied hard for last week’s spelling test and passed with flying colors!”) so your child begins to see there are no absolutes.

4. Hold Your Tongue.
The morning of the test is not the time to suggest your child should have studied more or started preparing earlier. It’s not the time to nag about how late your teen stayed up or pick a fight about what your teen chose for breakfast. Try to remain calm and positive without smothering or shoving encouragement down your child’s throat. Your anxious test taker needs all the good vibes he or she can get.