She volunteers at the school, which makes it easy to check in with her children’s teachers. “When one of my children has a problem in one of his classes, they’ll say we got his test grade and it’s this,” says Stacy, Drew’s mom. But many parents never get that kind of quick feedback. According to a survey by the Michigan Education Association, a quarter of parents said they almost never talk to teachers.
The same number said they never attend parent-teacher conferences. “Sadly, I think those numbers are probably very accurate,” says academic advisor Cathie Banks.
Banks says that can send kids a subtle, but damaging message: My parents don’t care about my education, so why should I? The result is that “they’re less involved in activities. ... They have lower self-esteem; they have lower classroom attendance,” she says.
In fact, earlier studies by the U.S. Department of Education found that when parents are involved – by monitoring homework, talking to teachers or
volunteering at the school – children’s grades were dramatically higher and
discipline problems dramatically lower. “She’s always around at school a lot. So if I was to do something bad, she would know about it pretty quickly,” says Drew.
Experts say meeting your child’s teachers and spending time at their school is invaluable. “Find a link, whether it’s a teacher you can talk to (or) a guidance counselor that you can go (to),” says Banks. “I would encourage any parent who wants to become involved to do so, no matter what the cost.”
What Parents Need To Know
A study funded by education groups in Michigan found a pronounced rift between parents and teachers. Although parents and teachers should be partners in education, they are often adversaries. Parents can ensure a child is on time to school and then welcome them home at night, but
they often leave the hours in between solely to professional educators.
Consider the following:
• Only one-in-nine working parents is active in a child’s school.
• Overall, one-in-four parents participate in a child’s school.
• Nearly a quarter of parents never ensure teachers know essential information about their child.
• Teachers are more forthcoming about academic problems than they are with behavior problems.
• Parents who communicate with the schools have a higher level of success and satisfaction, as well as a greater sense of belonging to the school community.
• Nine states have passed legislation offering unpaid family leave for school activities, with varying requirements for eligibility.
Working moms and dads might be desperate for a connection but need
flexible volunteer opportunities and events timed around the workday. Conversely, stay-at-home parents want to preserve family evenings and consider daytime school involvement one benefit of staying home.
Parent involvement increases positive results. Show your child with actions, not just words, that you really care about education. Involvement extends beyond simply getting your child to school on time. If parents don’t care enough to drop by the school and talk to a teacher, to make sure homework gets done and books get read, the child likely won’t care either.
Parents of low-achievers, the students who could most benefit from parent
involvement, are the least likely to visit schools.
Eventually, a parent might need to deal with the school on his or her child’s behalf. A parent is in a much better position if that’s not the first time the school has seen him or her. Children of parents who are engaged with the school receive a better education. However, most schools and educators do little to welcome reluctant parents.
To combat this dilemma, parents can:
• Make regular visits to their child’s classroom.
• Share pertinent, helpful information about their child with his or her teachers.
• Ask teachers specific questions regarding their child’s performance and behavior.
• Encourage teachers to be honest with them.
• Be careful not to behave as their child’s defense attorneys. They
shouldn’t automatically side with their child and go after an educator.
• Act as allies of the educator because a teacher who knows he or she has the backing of the parents is more likely to go out on a limb for that child.
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